Am I Doing Enough?
What a common question, right? Am I doing enough? Furthermore, am I enough?
Where do you go to get the answer to this question? Instagram? Friends? Follower Count? I’m not asking what you wish you found your identity in or what you hope to find it in. I am asking what you actually find your comfort, worth, and identity in. If it’s something that changes and shifts, you’ll probably notice yourself feeling really “wobbly” and uncertain, shakey and insecure.
Hear me out. I’m not calling you out in judgement. I’m talking with you in love because I know what it feels like. I’ve been there and I find myself there still even though I am working on it.
When I notice myself feeling insecure, I ask myself where I am finding my comfort and security in. Sometimes, I realize I’m relying on my body image (which does shift and is not always the same). Other times, it’s people’s words toward me (which are not necessarily truth and will change). Sometimes, I am feeling really sensitive and emotional and even the smallest glance or lack there of and can me feel less than.
Do you relate?
I wonder if we shifted where we find our security. Does this sound like an experiment you’d be willing to try out?
I’m a Christian and so I believe that God sent Jesus to the earth to die for my sins because I am so incapable and wicked. God accepted the full payment of Jesus’ death so that I could live in freedom today and one day live forever in heaven. So, for me, I live from the freedom that Jesus died for. I have a motive for my life that’s found in Jesus Himself.
However, I don’t always live from that belief and honestly I live from it way less than I wish I did. It’s so easy to get caught up in other things that vie for my attention and are so alluring.
If you look this way, everyone will think you are incredible.
If you have this many followers on Instagram, you’ll feel worthy.
If you have this kind of relationship, you’ll feel loved all the time.
If you make these grades, you’ll believe you’re smart all the time.
If you make them jealous, you’ll feel better.
If you eat this way, you’ll be pure.
Lies. All of these are lies. Do you resonate with any of these statements? Have you heard them in your head before? Have you believed them? That’s ok, but know that it’s not truth.
What is truth is that Jesus loves you so so so oh so freaking much that He died for YOU. Yes, YOU! No matter what you look like, no matter how many followers you have, no matter the status of your relationships, and no matter the worth you feel when you look at yourself.
Golden gal, you are just that: golden. It has nothing to do with you. You never earned your golden status. You never can earn your golden status. You already have it. So, stop trying to make yourself feel worthy. Stop trying to grasp for things that you hope will make you worthy and loved. You already are. You already are.
Loved. Known. Heard.
Rest in that this week :)